Friday, September 18, 2015

Hey, Enviros, How You Doing?

Hey, Enviros, how you doing?

Oh, wait – I guess you can't answer that, can you?

I mean, there's no way you can be reading this, since you don't own a computer or a smartphone, because they are made with rare earth minerals and you're rabidly anti-mining, right?
And I guess you don't actually have a house you could put that computer in either, since you're so radically anti-logging and most houses are built with timber, right?

And I'm sure you would never sully your green little organic cotton-clad derriere by sitting it in something as crass as a motor vehicle, because they're made from the spoils of the M word, just like most other things that are not grown, right?

And I know there's no way you could be reading this, since, in actual fact, you are a real, true, EnvironMENTAList running around completely naked in the woods, foraging for roots and berries, right?

You're not?


You're sitting in your SUV checking your email on your smartphone to see if the organization founded by a LUMBER MAGNATE approved your application for a $100,000 grant, so you can degrade more property rights and terrorize more innocent old ladies, pollute some more rivers, and sue the piss out of the federal government some more?

Well, you're just a great big phony-ass, money-grabbing, land-stealing, anti-humanist, Agenda 21-pushing, hypocrite then, aren't you?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Image Credits :
Hypocrisy Definition Graphic -

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